Well, I guess it was inevitable. After a grueling year of busting our collective buns, we decided that the boys (and girls) of Duck, You Sucker! could use a well-deserved vacation. But where? After some careful research and investigation it became apparent that there was only one place that would accept such a group of gifted, unpretentious and downright loveable SOB's like ourselves...
DUCK, YOU SUCKER! PRODUCTIONS
PRESENTS...
VIVA LAS VEGAS! (DUCK, YOU SUCKER STYLE...)
After a relatively uneventful flight, and a rather hefty airport bar tab (thanks to Rudy and Whip...) we checked ourselves in at the luxurious Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and immediately checked out the infamous Hard Rock pool. Dan and I proceeded to the bar to get everyone some beverages when suddenly, we heard a horrible ruckus coming from the water. Fearing the worst, we ran outside, only to find our favorite dummkopff, up to his ole' Bavarian tricks again...
"Do you see the size of that sausage?"
Well, that sort of broke the ice. From then on it was pretty much what you'd expect from Duck, You Sucker!...
"This is what I call 'Stair-Raising Skating'!"
Let me tell ya, Vegas is hot! A man can get mighty thirsty ogling half-naked women in that kind of heat. Fortunately, Sweet Sue came to our rescue with a tray full a' tequila and some encouraging words...
"This oughta keep them pencils in your pockets!"
Unfortunately, for some of us, it was already too late...
"Aye, ladies, feast your eyes upon Hank's ripplin' bulge o' steel!"
After the initial screaming had subsided and the sirens had stopped wailing and security had finished the deep cavity searches and our beach towels were confiscated, we were left to ponder if any of us actually did get lucky that day...
"Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh... "
Whip?! That lucky dog! And speaking of dogs, where the hell was Ernie?
"Ya gotta be a hot dog to be a high-roller in this town!"
Well, after all was said and done, I have to admit that Vegas was good for us. That "Not A Dime Left In My Pocket And The Worst Hangover Of My Life" kind of goodness. But sadly, unlike the careers of Metalicca and Aerosmith, all things must end. It was with blood shot eyes and empty pockets that we sniffed and waved good-bye to the City of Sin, vowing to return once again...
And this time, we'll remember to take Rudy back home with us, WE PROMISE!!!
"You've got to roll-hole-hole me, callink me tum-beller di-yee-ice..."
All text and images are © 2001 Duck, You Sucker! Productions unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.